Warning Signs to Look for an Abusive Relationship
- Does he take “no” for an answer?
- Does he seem to have resentment or anger towards women? e.g. calls women names like “bitches”, “woman’s libber” etc. to put them down.
- Does he feel women are supposed to serve men’s needs? e.g. sex, waiting on them hand and foot.
- Does he think that women are sex objects? e.g. makes comments about babes, chicks, nice ass, etc. or about what you should and shouldn’t wear.
- Does he act bossy and make decisions without asking you what you want to do, where you want to go? If he asks you, does he then act on your opinions and value your ideas?
- Does he treat you as property? e.g. “As long as you’re my girlfriend/wife, you won’t do this or that.”
- Does he want to know what you’re doing all the time, who you’re with or with whom you were talking?
- Is he jealous of your friends, male and female? Does he tell you it’s because he loves you so much that he’s jealous?
- Does he have double standards for your behavior and his? e.g. it’s O.K. for him to go out with his friends but not you with yours.
- Does he idolize you, put you on a pedestal? Does he expect you to be perfect and then get angry when you don’t live up to his expectations?
- Are your friends as important as his? Or do you find yourself spending more time with his friends than yours?
- Does he blame abusive behavior on his drinking, drugs or other people? e.g. “I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing.” “If so and so would just…., then I wouldn’t…..”
- Has he ever pushed, grabbed or slapped you or another woman?
- Does he try to control you by using looks, loud voices or gestures?
- Does he tell or laugh at jokes about rape or other violence against women?
- Does he use violence as a way to express his feelings? e.g. gets in fights with others, slams his fist, punches the wall.
- Does he say hurtful things, then say he was only joking “lighten up?”
These are just a few of the signs to look for in a relationship. Remember that you are due respect. Expect nothing more and accept nothing less.